Task 1 - Introduce yourself
So who am I??????Like a lot of people, I have developed many identities over the years dependent upon where and who I am with....But to be asked who I am, this has left me pondering for the majority of the day....Who am I? Well the basics are my name is Tracey, I am 39 and I live in Queensland..I am happily married to the man of my dreams and we have one 16 and a 1/2 year old daughter (so not always so happy in our household with a hormonal daughter who thinks she should be able to do whatever she wants)....My life is very comfortable...I work full time with young people who offend...So these are the basic facts...
- I am a mother
- I am a wife
- I am a daughter
- I am a sister
- I am a friend
- I am an employee
- I am a netball player
- I am a taxi driver
- I am a counsellor
- I am a cleaner
And the list can go on, and on....But who am I really......At the moment I am UNHAPPY and DISAPPOINTED that I have allowed myself to put on weight over the years after working so hard two years ago to loose it.....I have always struggled with my weight and growing up, family members use to call me buddha (mainly my sisters who knew how this hurt me)...I have always been active, but have always had that little bit of extra weight....I was always that child who's mother would say, 'Tracey has the prettiest face and eyes'...but you know what, I didn't want the prettiest face and eyes, I wanted to fit into the same clothes as other children...I suppose I was lucky that I was never picked up whilst growing up for being fat, as I was always good at sport....But like others, I wanted to be SKINNY and have a boyfriend like everyone else....Due to this, I had always been insecure in relationships...I can say that I have only ever really had two serious relationships...My first relationship was domestically violent towards the end, however I had never been raised to be treated like this, so I left....this did nothing for my confidence levels and self esteem....After this, this was the first weight loss journey I went on.....I got in a healthy weight range and met the love of my life (my current husband)....my self esteem was still low, however slowly he has shown me that no matter what (many weight gains of significant amounts and weight losses)...I have learnt over the years that no matter what, my husband loves me for ME......
As mentioned, over the years I have managed to lose weight, but this weight just crept back on (and quite quickly may I add)....There is a joke in our family that I have tendencies of being obsessive/compulsive as I either exercise and eat healthy flat strap....or I eat food like there is no tomorrow....there is no in between for me.....I think over the years I have not learnt that balance.....This is what I am hoping Michelle and other people participating in the 12 weeks will help me with....I am participating in this, to be the person I know I am:
- I am a loving and loved wife
- I am a mother
- I am committed to exercising and eating healthy
- I am NO LONGER an emotional eater
- I am HAPPY
My weight and food will no longer be an issue, I will have these under control.....I will devote the next 16 weeks and beyond to my health and happiness.....
I WILL lose approximately 30 kgs before 2012 ends....I am hoping that in the next 16 weeks, I will lose 20 kgs...I plan on doing this by following the principles of Mish's program, eating healthy, exercising and leaning on all others who are also doing the program for support.....
I am so happy and keen to get going and watching the NEW ME emerge......
Bring on 2012, I WILL dominate you and achieve my DESIRES........
So I thought I would put my introductions on here as well so that I can read it through if I should ever question why I did this.....I know this is a weight lose program, but do you know I am still not really wanting people to know just how much I weigh, or how much I want to lose.....so in a way, my introductions to myself has shown me be honest about my weight....I know that I am overweight...obese even, but I am a little embarrassed by how much weight I need to lose (which I know is stupid...but hey who ever said females think rationally about their weight)....So I am going to put my stats on my blog on Wednesday...I will put my weight and measurements on here so that I am totally honest with myself....this is also a way of holding myself accountable as well....OMG, I cannot believe I will do this...when I say to my husband that I have put on weight and I want to lose it, he asks how much I weigh...Do you know what, I have never told him when I am overweight....I always wait till I have lost the weight and then told him how much I weight and how much I lost.....silly isn't it, it's not as if he will love me any less.....Lets see if I am also able to tell him my weight.......
On a positive note today, I went to the gym this afternoon and did body pump even though I felt like going home as it was cold and miserable and I had already completed an RPM class in the morning....I didn't go home as at 4.30pm, I started thinking of getting a chocolate bar on the way home....and I know that it would not have stopped at a chocolate bar......so I went to the gym instead....came home had a yummy, healthy meal, introduced myself and blogged instead....I would say that this is so much better than going to bed feeling sick and disappointed in myself as I ate too much crap food.....
Stay tuned for Wednesday's post when I will be posting my weight and measurements....I think I will be stressing in the next two days about this...
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