Call off the search party, I am back...Yes I admit that the last week of preseason I did not commit myself fully to eating healthy and exercising....I'm not really sure why, and I am not even going to try to justify why I did it...I think it was all those old demons in my head that were telling me that 12 weeks of eating healthy is a long time, and you deserve it...So for the four weeks of preseason, even though I was only half hearted in eating healthy, I still managed to lose 5kgs and drop quite a few cms from my body...I know that I could have done better, but I am still happy with that...So on Sunday, 12 February 2012, I did the dreaded photos in undies and a bra (There was no way I was going to try to squeeze myself into my bikinis, now that would have been a sight)....My husband took the photos, and this in itself was embarrassing enough....never before have I stood there in the daylight in my undies and bra infront of him looking like this....I think as you put on weight, you hide yourself away behind towels, doonas and clothes thinking that people will not realise that underneath all those layers you actually have weight to lose....but him being the loving supportive person he is, just took the photos....When I had a look at the photos, I thought front view is not very nice, could definitely lose weight...then went to the side view and though, oh thats not good but not that bad....then looked at the back view and thought, holy crap is that really what I look like....Instead of retreating into myself as I have in the past and eating to try to make myself feel better, I made a committment to myself to put myself into this program 150%....no more making excuses, no more trying to justify why it would be alright to eat that chocolate, or not to exercise....it was time to GET REAL and JFDI.....chocolate and all those other foods that I love to eat are always going to be around, but if I continued to eat crap all the time, I may not be....So for the last week I have contemplated whether I should post these photos, but then thought I will as I am NEVER going back here....from this time on, I WILL never allow myself to be that person in the photo....As Mish says, willpower is like a muscle, and each time you train your willpower, it becomes stronger and stronger....I know just like my muscles, my willpower is not that strong at the moment, but this week I have worked on training it, and so far it has had a very strenuous workout....
This week was full of many challenges for me.....Throughout the week I had many personal issues occuring with my 16 year old daughter (yes I hear those groans from here)......I know that I am an emotional eater, but I need to learn not to turn to food and to turn to other things that are good for me.....I managed to successfully turn to exercise for this emotional release....On Thursday two friends and I made the committment to come down to Melbourne for the final workout and after party, we thought we were so good and clever for booking our plane tickets so far in advanced and at quite a good price....On Friday, woke to another issue with my daughter...contemplated not to go to the gym for my final PT session (My lovely PT is having a total career change and will no longer be training me), but I decided to go (and I was actually quite happy that I did go)....Its amazing that exercise can put things into perspective.....But whilst at the gym, what do I see on the screens but the plane carrier who I had booked to go to Bali and Melbourne with had gone into voluntary receivership.....OMG about $2500 lost....that PT session certainly was a good thing on this day as it seemed to clear my head to make me think rationally about what I was going to do about my daughter and the plane tickets.....Personal problems are not fully sorted, but I am happy to say that I did not go into an emotional heap and attempt to eat my way out of it...I was able to smash out my very first SSS, burning 1119calories doing a Body Attack class and then the 60 second screamer from the Lean and Fit program (I think if I had to do four rounds, I would have been screaming as well....OMG it was certainly a workout)...I was so proud of my efforts as I could have given up after 1 round of it, but I continued on...This was the first time I have managed to burn the 1000 calories in one session.....
Another accomplishment I have been very proud of this week is this weekend I have not eaten outside of my program...I have managed to eat healthy and clean...I am glad that today is a rest day as I think I really needed it after yesterdays SSS......
I am loving Mish's videos that she is posting....One thing that hit home with me is not to compare myself to others....we are all in this for the same reason, to have a healthier lifestyle...we all have differing amounts to lose, and all have differing levels of fitness...Although I think it is only a human reaction to compare yourself to others....mine comparisions is not about weight loss, but about calorie burn...
One thing I do love about the facebook pages is the support you get....I have been inspired by many other 12 week people with their achievements whether they are little ones or major ones....
This week sees many challenges for me....I am going away with my husband this weekend to a beach community for a blues festival....Not really sure how I am going to be with my food.........In life there are many temptations and I know I have to learn to deal with each one, but so soon OMG I am a little worried......
